Friday, January 02, 2009

Naming; the perils of

So when someone pays me a dollar to use the internet here at the liberry I have to make up a name to make the computer happy. One of my coworkers asks the patron for his or her name, another uses his name and a number after it (1, 2, 3, etc.), some use just GUEST. I prefer to name my patrons according to a distinguishing characteristic. Today I've had gray hat, brown hat, XXL (his shirt, not his waistsize!), orangy-striped shirt, etc. I just logged someone in as Brownshirt. Watch out, Asheville, the Nazis are in town!

Thursday, June 05, 2008

How do you stop yourself...

...from staring at someone's meth mouth?

Tuesday, May 27, 2008


Remember this post?

Well, here he is! (And I must add that he and his brother are very nice, just weirdly dressed.)

Monday, May 12, 2008

Shiny Happy Monday

Following a patron whose last name is Laughter, I had a patron whose last name is Bliss. What a lovely way to start the week. Almost makes me regret my curmudgeonliness. Almost.

Plus I bought a new sofa and love seat. This is the first non-bed item of furniture that DocTurtle and I have bought new (instead of at a yard sale or off the side of the road). I'm just too excited for my own good!

Friday, April 25, 2008

The natives are restless

There's a guy here wearing Native American regalia and various other chachkas (Vietnam vet stuff, mostly) who has feathers attached to his ball cap. Nice little melange there.

No match for the Prophet, though (more on Chris, the Prophet of Montford, later).

He looked like such a nice boy!

I just helped a very polite, friendly young man with a swastika tattooed on his hand.

I became very self conscious of the Jewish star around my neck. Scary!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Dash it all!

You Are a Dash

Your life is fast paced and varied. You are realistic, down to earth, and very honest.

You're often busy doing something interesting, and what you do changes quickly.

You have many facets to your personality, and you connect them together well.

You have a ton of interests. While some of them are a bit offbeat, they all tie together well.

You friends rely on you to bring novelty and excitement to their lives.

(And while you're the most interesting person they know, they can't help feeling like they don't know you well.)

You excel in: Anything to do with money

You get along best with: the Exclamation Point

It continues...

...I just said "might could." The steady erosion of my perfect Western diciton continues...

I do however, like "y'all."


Yesterday our patrons were treated to a lovely bit of a welcome. One of the trolls who congregate outside decided to hurl right in our entry way.

Welcome to our library! Don't mind the puke.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

What to do...

...when you have a DIY workshop on blogging and no-one comes?

Friday, April 18, 2008

Reference Question of the Day

*phone rings*

me: Memorial Library Reference Desk. Can I help you?

Ollie, the well-known creepy phone guy: What's the alphabet in Canada?

me: ?? They speak English in Canada.

Ollie: They do?

me: Well, yes, except in Quebec, where they also speak French.

Ollie: Well, then, what's the French alphabet?

Asheville Ashtray

There is a man standing before me at the reference desk RIGHT NOW AS I TYPE with an unlit but previously lit cigarette dangling out of his mouth. I say this as a former smoker, "IT SMELLS DISGUSTING!!!"

Hat Cult

Five guys just walked straight through the library, single file, silent, all wearing hand-knitted hats with ear flaps. The only thing I can figure is they must be in the Hat Mafia.

Thanks to the wonders...

...of the Reference desk, and the even more wonders provided by those who call the Reference desk with random questions, I now know where the movie Swiss Family Robinson was filmed. I can die happy.

It must be the South...

...I just told a patron his copies would cost "twenny cen." The vernacular of the South is destroying my perfect Western diction! AAaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Last time I checked... up urine is not in my job description.

Is it the lunar eclipse that's causing this?!?

I Hate Asheville REVIVAL!

Hi again. I've decided to revive this blog by combining it with Maughta the Librarian. I've never been happy with that name, whereas I Hate Asheville has such a nice ring to it. Now that you all know where I live, I expect you to bombard my library with fan mail. Address it to Maughta, please.

Here you will find general musings and ridiculous things that happen in the library. If that's not for you, I recommend my far more sartorial and popular blog, Judge a Book by its Cover. But if you want to listen to me bloviate, this is the site for you. Perhaps I'll even update occasionally.

Oh, and I no longer hate Asheville quite as much as I used to.